I wonder how many single people out there are willing to be with their soul mates. Of course, many will argue with me over the idea of the “soul mate concept” itself. Yes, I believe in soul mates, but it’s not often like in the movies: Hero lays eyes on heroine, something happens (and sparks fly), and he realizes right there and then they’re soul mates, and that they have to be together.

I don’t think it works like that. Soul mates are highly compatible, and they bring out the best in each other; and that’s why it would take time to recognize a soul mate. Infatuation and love at first sight aren’t often strong indications (but no one said anything against being very attracted to your soul mate when you first meet them…it would be amazing, in fact).

And soul mate relationships require work, too. Don’t assume once you find your soul mate life will be all peachy. I mean yes, life will be much richer and brighter; but it doesn’t mean life will no longer be difficult sometimes. The concept of sharing your life with someone who understands, loves, respects, cares for, and grows with you unconditionally is probably one of the best gifts in life. The opposite of that of course is a relationship that’s either abusive/dull/meaningless/miserable…etc. And that can be a lifetime torture for many (even after it ends…the effects of negativity can last for years later with some people).

There are also many signs of a soul mate relationship. The relationship itself seems well-balanced, familiar, supportive, and positive. There’s no abuse or fear of any kind. You two have an amazing connection.

Another misconception is that our soul mate is our identical twin (when it comes to thoughts, character, behavior, emotions, goals..etc.) and that’s NOT often true. A soul mate is very highly compatible with us, yes, but he doesn’t often have to be identical to us; he complements us.

Also, another misconception is the fact that our soul mate is just perfect for us. Again, your soul mate is human, and he has his flaws, and can make mistakes.

What often strikes me is how many people complain about not finding or being with their soul mates, and they ask why. From what I’ve experienced, read, and learned, there’s usually a very good reason (or a few) why you’re not together yet. Most of the time no one even wants to find that reason within; let alone declare it. Fear of intimacy or fear of being rejected/hurt would be on top of that list.

With all that said, don’t settle for less than your soul mate. Know, and understand yourself; so you can know and understand what YOU want, esp. when it comes to your soul mate. You attract what you want and believe in. Become the person you want to attract; and be happy on your own. Don’t believe your soul mate is the one who will make you happy because you’re unhappy now. You have to start with yourself, and be happy; your soul mate will share and amplify that feeling of happiness with you.

Relationships are supposed to enrich our lives, not bring us down. Don’t sacrifice too much of yourself to make another happy, or to make a relationship work. You’ll only have yourself to blame in the end. You have a choice!

There’s a sense of destiny about soul mate relationships, and knowing or feeling you’re meant to be. This has also been the main theme of my soon-to-be released novel The Years of Silence which takes place in Egypt and New York. Narrated by the heroine, this is a story of great love lost and found; and the risks two people in love are willing to take to be together when their love is the greatest risk of all. The novel also tackles several issues including the thorny issue of divorce in the Egyptian society, first love, soul mates, long-distance relationships, and abusive partners.

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soul mates
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