Think about for a moment – your World has been turned upside down. The person you loved and trusted most has betrayed that trust. And made a mockery of the love you gave so selflessly. You’re reeling from a range of emotions. All of which produce the same unwanted, unneeded result. They paralyze. They convince […]
A lot of the people that I hear from are very torn about their marriage after learning about an affair. Very few of us ever think that we will one day consider ending our marriage. But that was before we learned about the affair. And this knowledge can change everything. For many people, an affair […]
The natural reaction after getting the news of an affair is to feel anger and rejection. A self-negotiation takes place about “why” it happened. Then the self-penetrating questions start, like: • What about me wasn’t good enough for them? • How could they toss a 15 year relationship together for somebody who doesn’t even know […]
I sometimes hear from people who want their cheating spouse to feel some consequences for their actions. They want their spouse to feel guilt, shame, remorse, and sorrow. But, for whatever reason, they have been unable to elicit these responses. Their spouse continues to act defensive or indignant or attempts to shift the blame. As […]
Most every wife who has ever struggled after an affair knows that thinking about the mistress or other woman can take up a huge chunk of your time. You usually have all sorts of questions about her. You want to know who she is, what she looks like, what makes her tick, and why, of […]
I find that, depending on who you are talking to, you will get a different take on who was the pursuer in the affair. Sometimes, the other woman’s family and friends assume that the husband was the aggressor in the affair. Sometimes, the other man’s wife will assume that it was the other woman who […]
A committed romantic relationship between husband and wife or long-term boyfriend and girlfriend is a sacred thing. When these relationships are first formed, there exists an unspoken understanding between the two of them that they can trust each other with their hearts. For the healthiest of marriages and other relationships of the heart, that unspoken […]
I get this question a lot and I get it from women on both sides of this fence. The wives often ask it because they want to know if they can really believe their husband when he swears that he is done with the other woman. And, I sometimes hear this question from the mistress […]
I will admit that I’m always a little surprised when I hear from cheating spouses who are asking for my opinion on what to do to make things right. I’m usually pretty clear that I see things from the perspective of the faithful spouse. Still, sometimes it’s obvious that the cheating spouse is in turmoil […]
Haunted by your spouse’s affair, you, like many victims of cheating husbands, can discover you’re continually comparing yourself with the other woman. Your inner dialogue may sound very similar to this: “She’s must be prettier than me.” “I’ll bet her body is more firm, more fit and healthy than mine – I’ve really let myself […]