Think about for a moment – your World has been turned upside down. The person you loved and trusted most has betrayed that trust. And made a mockery of the love you gave so selflessly. You’re reeling from a range of emotions.
All of which produce the same unwanted, unneeded result. They paralyze. They convince you that you’re helpless. That there’s nothing you can do to better your situation. That your life is totally out of your control. That there’s no hope.
If you continue “trusting” your emotions, I think you can see where that leads. Can you not? And that is exactly why you need to have more rationality, more reason. To combat the overriding paralyzing effects of the mind’s emotional negativity.
Easier said than done you say? Absolutely. But there is no other solution. Scarred by the traumatic affair events, your emotions are not going to change. And at their present strength they’re obviously not going to do you any good. Your quandary here is that they are present. Simply “Wanting” them to go away isn’t going to “make it so.”
Only an opposing force can diminish their depressing impact. That opposing force, is rationality. Logic. Reason. They co-exist in your mind along with their “evil cousins” – the negative emotions.
So your affair survival mission must be to bring rationality, logic and reason to “center stage” and send, as much as possible, the negative emotions, offstage. Accomplishing this will have the desired global effect of increasing the positive and decreasing the negative.
But how to accomplish this? By what method? With what techniques? What, in effect, are the “nuts and bolts” of rational affair survival?
The first step, and – warning – at first glance it may seem like a step backward – is simply to acknowledge that the negative emotions exist. This seemingly small action is, in fact, a gigantic one. because you have “served notice” on rationalities “evil cousins” that you’re wise to their game.
While this won’t make them go away, it will have the subtle and progressive effect of diminishing their appearance on” center stage”; and thus, their power to disturb and paralyze.
Your next action should be to create a space that logic and reason can enter. And flourish.
This is best accomplished by focusing on activities that demand reason and logic. Even something is seemingly insignificant as making up a shopping list can be a major step in creating such a space.
As you follow these guidelines it’s crucially important that you understand the single most potent danger that will be lurking everpresent. Seeking it’s moment to derail all your efforts. Trying with all it’s might end your journey to affair survival success.
That danger is: self -doubt. It will attempt to seep into your positive efforts and contaminate your logic and reason. Try to convince you that you’re “not worthy.” That you were responsible for the affair. That there was something lacking in you that caused your partner to stray.
Oscar Wilde once said: “I can resist anything but temptation.” Don’t be like Oscar Wilde! You must resist, at all costs, the temptation to surrender to “victim consciousness.”
I found this one of the hardest things to do when I was trying to survive my affair.
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Rational Affair Survival
