If you are a black woman who supports interracial dating or a black woman who has already entered into a loving interracial relationship, you may receive statements of concern from other black people, both strangers and close family members, which claim black women dating interracially will destroy the Black community. And for a moment you might doubt whether that statement is false. It’s important to realize in that moment that you have simply been conditioned to do so, because you are a woman and because you are black.
Women of all racial categories have been conditioned by male-dominated societies for centuries. If you stop and think about the expectations society has placed on women, you will see that it is all to please and comfort the men in society i.e. be a sexual object, maintain a clean house and cook hot meals. Unfortunately, many black women fall obediently into their roles because they fear they will be alone if they don’t. Even the women in your life might encourage you to fall into roles that serve black men better than they serve you. Don’t listen to them. Those women have been conditioned. The black women who may mock or be disgusted by another black woman enjoying love, commitment and happiness from a man outside her race are really just going through the reasoning that the men in her community programmed within her. For that reason you should not feel anger towards her, but feel sympathy.
She has been programmed to think that only a black man could ever love her right, that only a black man would find her beautiful, that she should settle for a black man who doesn’t meet her needs before accepting a man outside her race that would meet her needs, that Black Love is supposed to be hurtful, unfulfilling, abusive and degrading at times, and that she needs to give herself to men that have no intentions of reciprocating. Too many black men want you to pause and think about their happiness before your own. They want you to feel that black women dating interracially will be the demise of the entire black community. Why? It’s because above all, above your health and happiness, they want to have their freedom, and to do so the women around them must bear all the responsibilities, including the responsibility to keep the black community together.
A selfish black man won’t have to do anything at all to earn sex, a clean home and hot meals, if they get you to narrow your options down to them only. Then they can hold it over your head that a good black man is hard to find. Therefore you should be lucky to settle for crumbs. They won’t need to respect you. They won’t have to keep a job. They won’t have to take care of their own children. They won’t need to stay faithful to you. In fact, they can date outside their race and gain respect from other black men! They can make crime and degrading women the subject of every hip hop and R&B song and still not be responsible for what it does to the black community. How freeing to be a self-centered black man when black women fall into the roles they’ve set. And how distressing it is for those same selfish black men to see a black woman who realizes her options are wider and thus better.
There is more to the definition of a man than being the same race and having a penis. You need a man who loves you, wants to take care of you financially and emotionally and does so, and who doesn’t consider not providing for his family as an option. It’s just plain silly to add into that definition “his skin color must match yours.”
Date whoever deserves your love. If that person happens to be a different race, don’t feel guilty about it at all.
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Black Women Dating Interracially Will Not Destroy the Black Community
